so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
