This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
