just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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