I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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