the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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