Duck Duck Cougar?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
