I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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