i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
