If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize