just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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