i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
