I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
