I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
