you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
