And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize