Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
