she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
