So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize