I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
