sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
they're like a gay fantastic four
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
