I think im going to throw up on grandma
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
