No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
