tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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