Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
NoShamevember. You game?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
