Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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