You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
