Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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