Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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