shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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