Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
