Whatcha textin bout Willis?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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