Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
