And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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