You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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