Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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