I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Randomize
