honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
