I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
