hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
