how can u be prego again
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
