I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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