He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Im part way to drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
