I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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