Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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