well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it wasn't lemon gatorade
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
