3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We are all done wearing pants today
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