laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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