stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize