I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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