Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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