i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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