Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
