Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
