real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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