He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Found your dick twin last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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