I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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