It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
