marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
