God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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