Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize