If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
