she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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