I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
