you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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